Things I've Done Well This Year

I think in a world where so much bad is happening, it's easy to look at yourself and see only the negative things. As a person with anxiety and depression, it's even easier for me to look at myself and only see the negatives because that's my default, and I worry so much about doing everything right that even the smallest things can make me feel like I'm failing. Since I've had a couple weeks of being really anxious and down on myself, I've decided to write this reflective post about things I've done so far this year that I think I've been doing well, so I can go back and look at it and remind myself that even if the glass is half empty or completely empty, it can always be refilled, and to hopefully inspire other people to reflect on what they've been doing well, too.


1. Reaching out to friends when I need help. This has always been hard for me, because I am a person who feels like she has to do everything herself, otherwise I'm failing or not trying hard enough. For the past few months though, I've been trying to get better at emailing my friends when I'm in a rough patch. I still have a ways to go before actually feeling comfortable doing this, but I've been improving and trying, and that's what counts.

2. Taking control of my health. I've finally been making a real effort to change my diet and eat more healthfully, drink more water, and exercise more. My mom got me a gym membership that I've tried to utilize at least four times per week for half an hour, and I have to admit, I do feel better after I exercise. Plus, if I use the stationary bike, I can do that and read and listen to music while I'm on it, so I even get to have fun while exercising.

4. Doing things that make me feel more "me." I took out my violin after 10 years of not playing and am currently having it refurbished so I can start playing it for fun again. I've been thinking about taking it up again since it was my first instrument because I always feel sad when I hear pretty violin music that I don't play anymore. I'm also trying to play flute more often, since that was one of my majors in college. I also took up blogging again because being a book blogger was part of my identity for so long, and I don't feel complete without it.

5. Doing things that are hard for me. When I started my library internship, there were a lot of things I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do because of my anxiety. However, after just a couple weeks, I already feel much more confident asserting myself and my ideas, asking questions, and participating in library activities. I also went to an open house last week and felt perfectly comfortable talking to people about what's going on at the library, even though I was nervous about it at first. I've also come up with my first program idea, and I've been planning and implementing that, which has increased my confidence in my abilities as well. I'm realizing that things I thought would be hard for me actually aren't, because it's what I really want to do, and I'm working toward a career I truly belong in.

6. Practicing self-care. One of my first posts was about how I track self-care activities in my bullet journal, and doing that has made me much more aware of big ways and small ways to take care of myself. I practice at least 5 self-care activities per day on average, and I think that's pretty good. Sometimes it can be hard to practice being nice to yourself when you're struggling, but I think I've been doing quite well with that all year, even when things have been really difficult.