Sorry for the accidental hiatus...

If anyone actually reads this blog, then you may have noticed I haven't posted for two weeks. This was mainly due to my participation in NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, during which I drafted about 27,000 words of Queer Bookish Novel, which I've been meaning to write for quite a while now.

Unfortunately, I had to quit NaNo a couple weeks ago. This was partially because I missed three days due to illness and felt like I couldn't catch up, but also because my novel seems to be wanting to go in a totally different direction than I initially anticipated it would go. Now, I feel like I need to take a couple weeks and let it sit and then come back and actually outline, plan character sketches complete with actual character GOALS, without which, I have discovered, it is pretty difficult to write a story, and come back full force with the writing (maybe not as full force as with NaNo and 1,667 words per day, but at least 1,000 words per day).

I also thought a lot about blogging while I was gone. I love blogging, and have never been able to stay away from it for long because it's been a part of my identity for the past five (almost 6!) years. However, I often get discouraged because I'm not exactly a "successful" blogger. People talk about getting 1K or more views per day, and I'm over here not even getting 50 a day, and I write about the same things other people do, am a better writer even than some bloggers, and have a lot to say about books, just like every book blogger I follow.

I know stats shouldn't matter if I really love blogging, and I do, but sometimes it's hard when I want to be read by a wider audience and reach more people, feel like I'm doing all the right things, and still am getting nowhere. I just keep having these crises where I wonder if it's even worth continuing blogging when I seem to be getting nowhere after so long. I know it's also probably because BookTube is becoming such a popular thing and book blogging is getting a little less popular, and many of the original "celebrity" book bloggers don't blog anymore, but I don't think I'm ever going to be a booktuber because that's just not my thing, and I think book people should be encouraging people to read more of everything, and that includes blogs.

I'm just feeling very discouraged, and sometimes worrying about stats makes it hard for me to want to continue blogging. I'm happy when I get any number of views, even if some of them are from my boyfriend (if you're reading this, HIIIIIIIIII), but I still want more, because I want people to appreciate what I write and put out into the world. If you have any tips for increasing blog traffic, throw them my way, because clearly I could really use them.

Anyway, that's where I've been: writing and worrying about stats and worrying about writing and worrying, worrying, worrying, because that's what I do best. Alas. Here's to hoping for a better next few weeks, I guess.