Something weird is happening this month, people. I decided to do NaNoWriMo and...I'm actually doing it. As of the writing of this post, I have a little over 14,000 words and have written every single day of the month so far. This is unprecedented and has never happened, because usually I quit after about two days because I feel like 1,667 words per day is too daunting a task and I feel like I'm going to fail anyway. Apparently that is not happening this year, because this year I am kicking anxiety's butt and am a BOSS.
I am learning a lot through this process. For instance, I am finding having a deadline very useful. Without a deadline, I feel less motivated to write every day. I am also finding it very useful to have an excuse to go balls out on writing and just write whatever words come to mind simply to get the word count and get the story down. Since I'm focusing on just the word count and getting a first draft done, I'm not worrying about everything coming out perfectly the first time or going back and editing as I write; I'm just getting things done.
This method may not work for everyone, but for me, this mode of speed writing is incredibly useful and motivational for just getting something down. In a post at a different time, I will write about how I plan to do editing and revising for this first draft I plan to finish (with Scrivener!!), but for now, I'm just getting everything out of me and onto the page, and it's great.
I don't have a lot of places or outlets in my life where I feel like I can just do or be and not have to be perfect at the doing or being. Writing, however, at least in this speedy, NaNo-style, is definitely turning out to be one of those places. If the first draft is terrible, who cares? It's a first draft, which means I can fix it and be hard on myself later. For now, I can just get all the ideas out for the sake of having a draft and a story and meeting a certain word count.
I'm also relearning how much I love writing. I did Camp NaNo a couple years ago and met my goal, but stopped writing shortly after, largely because the story wasn't working, but also because once I got out of the habit of writing every day, I forgot that I was writing because I simply enjoyed it. I started dreading it and being scared of it again, which I hadn't been when I was just writing to get reach a goal and get a draft on paper, because I just made myself do it.
When I finish a writing session, even if I don't feel great about what I put down, I always feel satisfied and fulfilled in other ways. Writing makes me feel like I'm doing something I should be doing; like I'm doing something that makes me genuinely happy. NaNo is reminding me that I love writing, and that I want to be a writer still, and that I should do it as much as possible so I can be happier more often.
This is such a beautiful - and very relatable post. I felt the exact same way the last time I did NaNoWriMo. Having this deadline helped me in just getting out the words, somehow I didn't feel too stressed out or didn't feel like everything I wrote was wrong, because...what if it is, it's a first draft after all :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear it's going well so far, I hope you'll keep on having fun during this NaNoWriMo and that you'll be proud of yourself afterwards, as you should be :)
Exactly! It's so freeing to be able to write badly just for the sake of getting something on the page.
DeleteAnd thank you!
If the first draft is terrible, who cares? It's a first draft<- truer words have been spoken.
ReplyDeleteSo many people want to become a writer but at the end, how many ended up being one? That's why I love Nano because I could see that everyone that participates are doing something to achieve their dreams. The writing might be suck but it's just the first draft. No one expects an award winning writing from it, right?
Right! The point is to just get a first draft down! I know some people like to go back and edit as they're writing a first draft, but for me, NaNo is great because I'm bad at just putting words on the page because I'm afraid they won't be "perfect" and NaNo kind of frees me from that.
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